Sunday, February 5, 2012

I'm back!!!!

Hello Everyone.

Wow I can't believe how long it's been since I last blogged. I do apologize!!.

Alot has happened in the last few months since my fingers last touched this keyboard (oh how I have missed you). First off I am feeling much better after the "problems" I had back at the end of Nov. Yay!. We this was our first christmas with out Nan.... it was hard but we survived.

On boxing day Hailee, Steve and I moved out of my parents place and into our own rental. It's the most gorgeous house (only 3 years old) so everything is very new and modern, the most important thing.. well there are 2. 1) The place is wheelchair accessable! & 2) It only takes Hailee and I 5 minutes to walk over to road to mum's work and to the supermarket.. score right?!. The first week felt quite strange because it just didnt feel like "our home" but now it feels like we've always lived here.

Time seems like it has sped up, it honestly doesnt feel like it's been 4 months since Nan has gone. Honestly it's quite hard to step foot in Lorraine (My Auntie)and her home. As to date we have only been there 3 times. The first was to clean out her waredrope. Wow, doing something like that is so surreal!!. I never thought I would do anything like that in my life.. especially for that woman.

It's strange it doesn't feel like she has gone, I was talking to Steve the other day about it, how I imagined I would cry non stop for months but honestly I have hardly cried at all. I think it's because we have not picked up her ashes and scattered them yet (If i got a say I wouldn't want to scatter them.. I want them here with me). But I am just a grandchild, I am not her child.

Ok let's move on.

It's my birthday in a few days. I'm looking forward to finally turning 25! (yep I'm a spring chicken) all my life I wanted to be 25, people seem to respect those around them at that age, it's like your not a child but you not a oldies(hehe). I'm also not looking forward to it because I never imagined being 25 without my grandmother. It's funny how you see a person that you love more then life it's self living forever. Unfortunatly it's not true :( Another thing I've come to realize, grief is a very funny thing and is different for everyone.

Ok well that's it in a nutshell & it's time for me to catch up on everyone elses blogs. Bye!

Oh, one last note. Hailee is growing up to be a real little miss, I don't mean she has an attatude(which does come out somedays.. oh god help me when we come to the teen years lol). But I mean she has grown up so much in the last few months, she's talking better, she's taller and just really seems to know who she is and what she wants chringes.

Amanda <3

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