I am one "step" closer.

So some exciting but also terrifying things are happening for me tomorrow, tomorrow I am one step closer to starting my dream job (ever since I was 4 years old), I have wanted to be a.... TEACHERS AIDE!!! 9.30am tomorrow I need to attend a information session, a literacy and numeracy test and then finally I need to do an interview. In all honesty I am shared shitless (excuse my french). I have not sat a literacy/numeracy test let alone a interview for at least ten... Yes, 10!! years ago. My palms are sweaty and shaking, my throat is dry and I feel sick to my stomach. The course runs from the 12th May to the 17th Nov. There maybe 20 people that are interested in the course but there are only 10-12 people who get through. (fingers crossed I am one of those 12). We have to attend class one day a week, study one day and do work experience another. I am really excited to start as I've know about the Cert III in Education Support since early Feb. This course will lead to (I believe) one of the most important jobs ever!. This course can not only change my life, my families but also the lives of those future kids I get to teach. (I wish you could all see my face right now.. I'm smiling from ear to ear). As soon as I have an answer to whether I get in (or not) then I will update you all!! I really hope they only make us wait a day or two, otherwise I am going to go crazy. Wish me luck everyone!!!! Amanda <3.

WORLD PREMATURITY DAY!!!!

On the 17.11.13 it was World Prematurity Day!! My baby came into this world 11 weeks before she was due. It was one of the best but scariest day of my life!! I would like say a HUGE thank you to all the staff at The Royal Hobart Hospital Neonatal Unit for all their love, support, guidance, knowledge and hard work. Because of you our 2.5 month stay meant were able to bring our beautiful healthy baby girl home. I'd also like to thank a special nurse by the name of Sally at the RHH who was there to help me stay calm. Plus my family & friend for their loving support during and after the hardest few months of Steve & my life. I'm going to 'light up purple' for our baby for those lucky families who also got to take there little prem's home but especially for those who were not as lucky as us!!! Amanda<3.

Her Future: I wonder what it holds.

23.10.13 @ 11.35am: As I sit here in my daughter's classroom today I watch her. I don't want my daughter to be an outcast just because her mum is different from all the others!. I want her to grow up & tell people she's proud of who her mum is. I fear even though she's only in Kindergarden that she already may be treated differently by her peers & teachers. I don't want her to grow up, look back & hate primary school because of me & say it stopped her from making friends or doing the best she can at school. I myself really enjoyed primary school. high school's another story! every other week I thought about "harming" myself. I didn't want to be there. I don't want that for my daughter either..I want her to excel at school, I want her to make 1,000 friends (or even just 2 best friends). It's strange the things you think about or worry about when you have kids isn't it.... Amanda <3.

Dedication to Tim and Angelique

Hello Everyone,

Today's post is but a somber one.

A years ago a beautiful, sweet little girl earned her butterfly wings. I rememeber sitting here reading your Daddy's blog, I remember sobbing like a little baby at the news you had passed, after reading your story for so long it felt like you were apart of my family. You were a gift to all of us who had the pleasure of reading the blog and to your family who knew you best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for touching my life.


It's hard to know what to say,
When one so young is taken away,
Far to soon she had to part,
Her memory forever engraved in our hearts.

We only knew her for a short while,
But the life she led made us smile,
She was so beautiful and oh so rare,
Life as they say just isn't fair.

Those gone before her will wachher with care,
Till the day comes when we'll all join her there.

Know Bella is watching from heaven above,
And with each ray of sunshine,
She's sending her love.

R.I.P Bella our angel.
(her story:http://careforanabella.blogspot.com/)

to beautiful for words :)

Hello Everyone.

A friend of mine posted this on their FB page today, and I tell you everytime I read it I get teary eyed. I haven't seen it in a few years but as soon as I logged on this morning I knew I just "had to" blog about it. I'm sure there are a few of you out there who has read Samuel Armas' story... but for those who haven't:

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably will never see it. The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by a surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on little Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed, hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. In a Time Europe article highlighting new pregnancy imagery that show the formation of major organs and other significant evidence of the formation of human life but a few days after conception, Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile. The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope."

The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."

Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us a pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 per cent successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome ... incredible.

Samuel ten(10) years later:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,519181,00.html

I always remember my mum telling me that while she was pregnant with me that she had this "feeling" something wasn't quite right. LADIES LISTEN TO YOUR BODIES!!!.. if you to feel something is "off" then see your Doc and demand tests. If my Doc had just listens to my mother then I to "could possible" have had this op and maybe had the chance to live a "normal life" and walk. But instead he decided to go on holidays *rolls eyes*.

Please feel free to leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on Sam's Story <3.

Memoirs #2

Hello Everyone.

MY TEENAGE YEARS: (13-16)
(need to edit with things that happen between ages 13-15)


In Jan 2003, just before my 16th birthday. I went into the hospital here in Tassie to have surgery on my bowel. But unfortunately the operation had to be reversed due to me almost dying from Peritonitis... [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peritonitis]

That was one of the worst experiences of my life! I remember as a teenager a doctor told me I would never be able to live indipendantly or even have children. At that time I didn't even really care because I'd never had a boyfriend. As I grew up and my friends started dating I used to lay in bed and imagine if my life was different (not born with SB) would I be dating?, would I be able to move out of home? get married? travel the world? settle down and have a family of my own?.

Ahh it's incredible what the mind can dream up huh.

(read on to Memoirs #3 to find out what happens next in my life....)

The antics of a 2.5yr old...

"what's wrong (insert name)"
"look at me I'm doing (insert activity)"
"no thank you"
"oh no this toy/person has gone"
"what on earth was that?"
"1-2-3-4-5, ready or not, I fineded you"

"what you doing?"
"come on (insert name) let's go outside"
"ry-nos-rus" -rinosarus
"hip-potn-ormous" - hippopotamus
"what you drawing there (insert name)?"
[on phone]"hello, speaking Hailee, yes, thank you, ok, bye-bye"

"don't be silly"
[making noises]" oh I scared/scary"
"shh mum be quiet I'm reading"
"wake up- I love u"
"ring Grandpa?!"  - ends up calling some random Lol
"that's great drawing mum"

"no way"
"king of castle, I a rascal"
"oops daisy fall down"
"humpety dumpety" - humpdy dumpdy
"next one"
"good girl Hay-yee"

Me:what's your name? "Hay-yee Nole Rik-tah"
"what yeah gunna do?"
"I'm/we're back"
"what's that sound?"
"Love my boyfiend Cody"

My cheeky lil' Monkey...


Ha! I know I've been so slack on this writing thing but I'm sure those of you who have a toddler realize just how busy they keep you and how much "me time" you DON'T get. Well we are now coming up to her 3rd birthday :( and I promise this time I will upload pics from her last birthday and this one :P

memoirs #1

Hello Everyone.

The reason I started this blog was to write my memoirs. My husband always says to me I should write a book but seriously with a 3 year old, when does he expect me to write this book??. So I was thinking from now on I will finally start "blogging" my memoirs. {I will still have other posts but they will mainly consist of my life's adventures}.
Well I guess I should start...


MY FIRST YEARS (0-12)
*all names here have been changed to protect privacy*

I was born on the 25th Feb 1987,in Tasmania. I was the first born to Phillip and Emily. My mother had no idea how much her and my WHOLE families life was about to change come Feb... she was in labor for aprox 20 something hours but because I can not use my legs, it meant I wasn't able to be born without help.

They rushed "us" to the Operating Room, did an emergency c-Section. After a few minutes I entered the world, this is when the nurses and Doc got the first indication that something was wrong. When Spina Bifida kids are born apparently they have this high pitch cry. The nurse who was holding me turned me over onto my belly and noticed the lesion on my back.

I was then sent to another hospital via an ambulance so I could be placed in to NICU. Spina Bifida kids where not expected to live past 5 days. The Doc told my parents and family to brace for the worst outcome. IF I lived, I would have been a vegetable and not be able to do anything for myself. Not be able to eat, sleep, walk, talk, learn, anything!!... and thats on the off chance I survived. Because of the survival rate with kids with SB they nursing staff would only feed me (I think?) every 12hrs. My dad was quite upset that's this was going on and that they were just going to let his baby girl die :(.

He used to come in and sit with me, while there he would give me a bottle (hehe very sneeky). A few days after my birth they Doc's and hospital stuff asked my parents permition to do a few operations on me to "help" me live more comfortibly. They wanted to remove the lesion on my spine AND they wanted to insert a shunt...

SHUNT: a one-way valve is used to drain excess cerebrospinal fluid from the brain and carry it to other parts of the body. This valve usually sits outside the skull, but beneath the skin, somewhere behind the ear) to drain the fluid which surrounds the brain. In SB children we have more of this fluid. My parents decided they wanted to wait and not use me as a guinea pig so early on in my life. The operations were done when I was approximately 6 months old.

My next operation was to correct my "clubfoot" [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club_foot].

Every year (almost) I went to Melbourne to the childrens hospital to have operations and to see specialist. I will spare you those details as I'm unsure myself of what when on hehe. I was aprox 2 years old when I got to take my first steps using a special brace that was fitted. I had to use crutches to get around... this got incredibly hard. I couldn't catch up to all my friends who were running around.

I was about 4 when I was fitted with my first chair. At age 4 and a half I attended a catholic school down in southern Tasmania (they believed I needed to attend early to "catch" up with other kids). I really enjoyed school and making friends.

Then I attends High School (with a whole bunch of new kids). High School's hard for most teenages but for me it was a little worse. I had to miss alot of school because I had to have operations. Like in Yr 7 (1999) I went to Melbourne to have a rod and screw placed in my back. I was so badly bent over from the scolyosis that I was crushing my heart and lungs. That op saved my life, but I also almost lost my life. The Doc actually cut the main artery to my heart, I was dead on the table for a few mins.

(for my reference when stating what Yr in school I was in)
Yr 12 - 2004
Yr 11 - 2003
Yr 10 - 2002
Yr 9 - 2001
Yr 8 - 2000
Yr 7 - 1999
Yr 6 - 1998
Yr 5 - 1997
Yr 4 - 1996
Yr 3 - 1995
Yr 2 - 1994
Yr 1 - 1993
Yr Prep 2 - 1992
Yr Prep 1 - 1991

Hailee's Birth Story!

Hello Everyone.

It was Saturday 1st November and my mum came around to see how I was feeling, I was 28 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy. My whole pregnancy I was sick and diagnosed with Hyperemisis Gravadarum (HG) and that day was no different!. But as I was feeling a little better during so I decided I was going to finally pack my hospital bag. Though I was scheduled to have a c-section (for medical reasons) at 35 weeks.

I had no idea what was in store for me in the next 24 hours!!. The next morning Steve (my hubby) and I were about to head to a family BBQ. Unfortunately when I got up I found that we were going to have to spot at the hospital.

At the hospital Pregnancy clinic they checked me and said that the babies head was crowning and there was no was I could have a c-section now, I had to have her naturally. Because I was still early in my pregnancy they had to get a few nurses from NICU in there asap, the NICU professor even came in.

After 20 minutes of pushing, nothing was happening so they decided they would have to find another way to help her out. 3 hours after first coming into the hospital Hailee was born! Steve rang my mum and told her, it was lucky mum was still at the family BBQ so everyone found out at once.

I didn't get to meet my little girl until a few hours later. But she was the most gorgeous, precious Little thing in the whole world!. I feel in love straight away.

Hailee 15minutes old.


Hailee Nicole R.
2nd November
1.2 kg (2.2 pound)
Sunday 3.02pm