I am one "step" closer.

So some exciting but also terrifying things are happening for me tomorrow, tomorrow I am one step closer to starting my dream job (ever since I was 4 years old), I have wanted to be a.... TEACHERS AIDE!!! 9.30am tomorrow I need to attend a information session, a literacy and numeracy test and then finally I need to do an interview. In all honesty I am shared shitless (excuse my french). I have not sat a literacy/numeracy test let alone a interview for at least ten... Yes, 10!! years ago. My palms are sweaty and shaking, my throat is dry and I feel sick to my stomach. The course runs from the 12th May to the 17th Nov. There maybe 20 people that are interested in the course but there are only 10-12 people who get through. (fingers crossed I am one of those 12). We have to attend class one day a week, study one day and do work experience another. I am really excited to start as I've know about the Cert III in Education Support since early Feb. This course will lead to (I believe) one of the most important jobs ever!. This course can not only change my life, my families but also the lives of those future kids I get to teach. (I wish you could all see my face right now.. I'm smiling from ear to ear). As soon as I have an answer to whether I get in (or not) then I will update you all!! I really hope they only make us wait a day or two, otherwise I am going to go crazy. Wish me luck everyone!!!! Amanda <3.

WORLD PREMATURITY DAY!!!!

On the 17.11.13 it was World Prematurity Day!! My baby came into this world 11 weeks before she was due. It was one of the best but scariest day of my life!! I would like say a HUGE thank you to all the staff at The Royal Hobart Hospital Neonatal Unit for all their love, support, guidance, knowledge and hard work. Because of you our 2.5 month stay meant were able to bring our beautiful healthy baby girl home. I'd also like to thank a special nurse by the name of Sally at the RHH who was there to help me stay calm. Plus my family & friend for their loving support during and after the hardest few months of Steve & my life. I'm going to 'light up purple' for our baby for those lucky families who also got to take there little prem's home but especially for those who were not as lucky as us!!! Amanda<3.

crazy season has started!!.

It's crazy to think it's been a month already since I've written anything.... In that time we've celebrated 4 birthday, started Christmas shopping, weekly parent help at Hailee's school & loads more. When I have more then 5 mind to myself I shall be posting photo's :) Amanda <3.

Her Future: I wonder what it holds.

23.10.13 @ 11.35am: As I sit here in my daughter's classroom today I watch her. I don't want my daughter to be an outcast just because her mum is different from all the others!. I want her to grow up & tell people she's proud of who her mum is. I fear even though she's only in Kindergarden that she already may be treated differently by her peers & teachers. I don't want her to grow up, look back & hate primary school because of me & say it stopped her from making friends or doing the best she can at school. I myself really enjoyed primary school. high school's another story! every other week I thought about "harming" myself. I didn't want to be there. I don't want that for my daughter either..I want her to excel at school, I want her to make 1,000 friends (or even just 2 best friends). It's strange the things you think about or worry about when you have kids isn't it.... Amanda <3.

Information & Interviews.

Hello Everyone, In the next few weeks I am going to be interviewing some family members and friends. I want to know how they felt when they first met me, how they felt when they found out about my disability. I have a feeling that interviewing people that you know will be harder the interviewing a stranger! How YOU can create the best environment to conduct an interview: - Create A Professional Setting. Regardless of your relationship with the person you are interviewing, you still need to create a setting which is professional that will work for you and the person you are interviewing. Conducting an interview while you sit in the lounge chairs out on the Deck drinking beers is most definitely not the best way of doing it. Instead, invite you're family (friends) to you're office or arrange a lunch date for the interview. - Leave Out Personal Details. Your readers don't want to hear to much about you're relationship with your family members. Instead, they're interested in what your family (friends) have to say about the topic. - Pretend You Don't Know Each Other Unfortunately, family members will often leave out important details when you've discussed the topic before (in every day conversation). When you start your interview, explain to your family (friends) that they must pretend that you've never talked before. Details such as past experiences, education, and history are valuable to the interview. Make sure you get as much background information as possible! - Ask Permission: Some family members might not like the idea of seeing their names (and life story) in print. You have to respect that, regardless of how excited you are to do the interview. Before you do any research at all, tell you're family (friends) that you'd like to interview him/her and what the interview will be used for. - Ask What You Don't Know. Since you're interviewing a family member (friend), you're going to need a hook-something with each to capture you're readers attention. This can often be achieved by asking you're family (friends) about a story you've never heard or using an interesting quote you get during the interview. Make sure you think about the structure and content of interview as you plan your questions. - Time Frame. You don't want the person you're interviewing to feel like they are being rushed or that you have held them captive! Keep your interview length no more than 1-2hours. It's tiring for you and for the person being interview. REMEMBER: this is supposed to be fun!!! - Make Sure You Take Good Notes. Make sure you record both you and the person you intend to interview name(s), the date, the place you interviewed them. - Asking Questions. Ask questions that will encourage more then a 'yes' or 'no' answers. Try to elicit facts, feelings, stories, descriptions. - Showing interest. Take an active part in the dialogue without dominating it. Learn to be a creative listener. - Don't Push. Don't push for answers. You're family member (friend) may have a reason they wish not to share a curtain subject. Move on to something else! - Prepared Questions. Use your questions as guidelines. But don't be afraid to let your family member (friend) go off on a tangent. They may have many things to share that you never even thought to ask. - Family Approval. Put your family members (friends) at ease by telling them they will have a chance to see and approve what was spoken about and recorded at the interview before you show it to others. - Thank You. What ever you do, do not forget to I thank each person for their time. I hope that these steps help you to conduct the most useful interview and it helps you and the person you're interviewing get the most out of the information shared!. Ok well guys I'm off to write down my questions ready for my husband when he gets home from work. I will be posting the interview on Monday. Amanda <3.

busy week!

Hey Everyone, This weeks been a busy one! First I had an appointment with my Urologist on Wednesday afternoon. He has sent me off to get a CT scan of my Kidneys & Bladder. Those damn kidney stones have been giving me hell for the past few months!! I've had said stones in for 3.5 years now, they hasn't grown much so nothing was done. But I've been getting a lot of UTI's and my SPC [will explain in next post] has been changed more frequently Grr... Thursday was World Spina Bifida & Hydrocephalous Awareness Day!! In the afternoon we had dance lessons! Friday the community nurses came to change my bandage on my left foot. I have had a wound on my heal for almost 2 years now. It's great now because its very close to healing. Can I get a "hallalulia!!!!" [more about it later] Saturday [today!] we went to a local fair/show. It was SO much fun!! Even Hailee went on one of the rides, the Feriss Wheel!! If you know her she HATES anything like that! We go her a show bag [Dora of course] and we got Daddy one too! hehe. I shall put some photos up tomorrow! I won myself one of those "over the top-huge" plush animals, Giraffe. I am totally in love with him [whom has no name]. Well that's my week! How was yours? I have an appointment on Tursday for CT so will let you know how that goes! Amanda <3 Oh yah almost forgot...we have some pretty exciting news about miss Hailee. Will let you in on it next week ;)

Fathers Day 2012.

Hello Everyone,

I have a few pictures I wanted to share with you from last weekend. I hope all the Australian dad's out there got spoilt just as much as mine and my husband did!

Giving daddy his present:

Pancakes with jam have been a little family tradition we do on fathers Day.. this year was extra special because Daddy taught Hailee how to make them!! [even if they do come from the bottle.. hehe ;)].

Then we played outside for a few hours.. it was such a gorgeous day:

Hailee all dressed up for an afternoon at my parents house:

My outfit/hair:

unfortunately I didn't get any pictures at my parents house...boo!!

What did you guys get up to? I would love to hear your traditions whether they be new or have been done for generations. Have a good week guys!
Amanda <3

it's a crazy small world!

Hello everyone, Hope you've had a great week & if it's raining where you are like here in Tas.. I hope you are all staying dry!! Today's post is about all the little things that can bring two(2) families together. Steve & I met over the Internet about 7.5 years ago [as we speak we are having a "discussion" about the exact time/year -neither of us can remember] at that time little did we know how much our families had/have in common. Steve's birthday is 12.11, Brodie's birthday is 21.11, Hailee's birthday is 2.11, see where I'm going here? Lol. It's not just birthdays. it's anniversaries, lucky numbers, and so much more!! Another thing we have in common that you may remember me blogging about last time was my (future) sister in-laws's name is Amanda Jade. Just like mine!. The "similar names" don't just stop there either! ha, I can hear you all laughing My grand mother (on Dad's side) was born Joan Margeret [though was known as Marg Joan], well My mother in-laws grandmother, was also named Joan Margeret Lol. Have any of you guys watched the movie V for Vandetta?! Do you remember the line "remember, remember the 5th of November!" ? Well I say that to Steve about the anniversary of our first date. It was the 3rd of Nov. so I say "remember, remember the 3rd of November." lol. Which is also a coincidence because our little princess, Hailee was born on the 2nd Nov... haha!! I may have blogged about this (but can't remember) while in labor the nurse asked me when our anniversary was, I said 3rd of Nov. She smiled and laughted & said... "That's tomorrow!!" (I had no idea).

No one calling me Aunty.. :(

To think I may never be an Aunty upsets me. My brother in-law Craig and his brother (Mark) fiancé, Mandy (yes her names is Amanda too..more about that later) were at dinner at my mother in-law and father in-laws house last Saturday while we were visiting (which I will blog about on Tuesday). As we watched Hailee the subject of kids came up. Both of them at exactly the same time said and I quote "I'm never having kids". You could hear my heart shatter into a million pieces from miles away lol. This may sound really strange but ihad to close my eyes for a few seconds to stop myself from crying. I can't believe it!!. All my life I never thought I would be able to have kids but i always wanted to be an Aunty!. So I used to think it was all up to my little brother Brodie to make me one. Yes you may remember me briefly mentioning I have a younger brother..(maybe- goes back to see if I did indeed mention him hehe) Well he's never having kids either apparently, (yes he is only 21 but sut I believe him) Wow even typing this is making me teary We joke to family that Hailee will be an only grand child. Well after talking about it she just might be insert sad face here because she will likely grow up an only child which is another thing that gets me upset. Poor Hailee. I loved/love having so many cousins to talk/play with. Some have helped me a lot! (I have 16 all together). Haha se what I mean... she will be lucky enough if she has two second cousin's. It's weird thinking about it, it's almost like my husbands life all over again (he never had any cousin's either. He only had his older brother Craig and younger brother Mark to play with. MANDY: I thought the family was pulling my leg especially when I found out Mandy's middle name is Jade...just like mine! weird huh?. Yeah well it's going to be so much fun when Mandy and Mark get married, especially if she takes his last name...NOT! two Amanda Jade Richter in the family, haha I think this world can only handle one ever thousand years ;). Unfortunately this isn't the last of the wildly scary similarities between my family and Steve's. I shall blog about that another time...hehe. side note Craig is 36. Mark is 30, Mandy is 29.. Steve still believes the is hope for us to be an Aunty and Uncle some day soon. Lol Talk with you all during the week! Amanda <3

this really hurts....

Hello Everyone,

Ive been dreading this post for a while now. Because in my mind she is still here with us. I walk into the house (that she shared with my Auntie) and I'm expecting her to walk down the hallway and greet us.

On the 18th (Oct) my Grandmother (my dad's mum) was taken to hospital after suffering a stoke and sustaning brain damage. The following day my family went up to see her, we all stood by her bed and cried.

(breath in, breath out.. ok keep typing)

This woman known to all her family and friends as Margaret was my best friend, my grandmother, and so much more! Everday I sat there in the hospital holding her hand. Telling her not to go, telling her I needed her, telling her her life was worth living and she needed to stay.

On the 24th I woke up at 6.30 the phone rang, it was the hospital. We raced up there thinking that this was it she was "going" (honestly I dont know how else to write it right now). Again all the family gathered by her bed, we took turns in sitting with her and having breaks, her breathing ext (to me) seemed to settle a bit better, I thought yes! she is going to survive a few more days.

I was wrong.

Hubby had just finished work and he came into the hospital to come see us and take our daughter home (it was aprox 5.30pm). We got in the car thinking everything was fine and we would see her the next day.

Half an hour later (we were nearly home) I got a phone call from my mother saying that she had died. I couldnt believe it, at that moment in time I was glad Hailee was asleep in the back, we pulled the car over and I burst into tears, I was swearing, crying and taking my anger out of the car.

Why had she died just after I had left? I still dont fully understand! I sat with her nearly everyday from 11am til 5-8pm. I was so angry with her, my family and god (even thought I dont believe in him) for taking her away while I was not there. I had some good advice and I sum what believe it from family; "They say that when people die they wait til the person they loved the most in the whole world leaves". Still I would have liked to have been there holding her hand. Have you had this happen to you? and do you believe in this statement?.

I love you so much Nanny why did you have to die?

The last thing she said to anyone was to my daughter "Hi Hailee, I love you" that sentance will forever be etched into my heart.

We came home and went straight into auto pilot (which I am glad for cause I know if I wasn't I wouldn't STILL be able to sleep at night or function during the day). We started planning her funeral the next day. I had told my father I would not be able to say anything at her funeral because I would just be a blubbering mess... I regreted tellhing him that so I decided on Wednesday morning "nope I know she would want me to be there saying something", so I wrote her this:

SHE WALKS AMONGST THE ANGELS
I see photo's of you and cry,
Then I remember the fun had by you and I.
The life you led made us smile,
You were so beautiful and oh so rare,
But life as they say it just isn't fair.
You now walk amongst the angels,
To protect us from above.
Rest In Peace Nanny
Our hearts full of love


{On Friday 28th Oct we had her funeral}
I 'stood' up there about to say my piece, then I looked over at the coffin and I couldn't breath. I blerted out something like "I wote dis for Nan"... then my night and shining amor came to the rescue THANK YOU HUNNY FOR STANDING UP FOR ME AND READING MY POEM. I am so thankful I had my daughter there, she was my stranght in all of this. She was SO well behaved the entire week I couldnt ask for a more perfect daughter at this moment in time. Even my Auntie (the one who Nan lived with) said to me a few times over the 2 weeks that she was thankful to that Hailee was there. She kept everyone busy and drove us all a little crazy sometimes.

I could right so much more but I think I will leave it...

things are at a stand still here

My family and I are going through a very hard time at the moment. So excuse me if I disappear for a few days/week.


Please, please keep us in your thought/prayers tonight.
Thank you!

Dedication to Tim and Angelique

Hello Everyone,

Today's post is but a somber one.

A years ago a beautiful, sweet little girl earned her butterfly wings. I rememeber sitting here reading your Daddy's blog, I remember sobbing like a little baby at the news you had passed, after reading your story for so long it felt like you were apart of my family. You were a gift to all of us who had the pleasure of reading the blog and to your family who knew you best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for touching my life.


It's hard to know what to say,
When one so young is taken away,
Far to soon she had to part,
Her memory forever engraved in our hearts.

We only knew her for a short while,
But the life she led made us smile,
She was so beautiful and oh so rare,
Life as they say just isn't fair.

Those gone before her will wachher with care,
Till the day comes when we'll all join her there.

Know Bella is watching from heaven above,
And with each ray of sunshine,
She's sending her love.

R.I.P Bella our angel.
(her story:http://careforanabella.blogspot.com/)

Mental Health Week 2011

Hello Everyone.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=104.1379

9-15 October.

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common mental illnesses in Australia!. and anxiety are two of the most common mental illnesses in Australia and it’s important to recognise the symptoms. Educate yourself and your colleagues and friends by sharing beyondblue’s resources on anxiety and depression.

If you think you could be depressed or suffering anxiety attacks please contact the lifeline on; 13 11 14.

I myself suffer from depression and anxiety from time to time. I'm not 100% ready to delve into why I became so depressed. But I'm sure one day I will be able to let you in on my experience.

If you would like to share a part of your story please feel free to leave a comment.

to beautiful for words :)

Hello Everyone.

A friend of mine posted this on their FB page today, and I tell you everytime I read it I get teary eyed. I haven't seen it in a few years but as soon as I logged on this morning I knew I just "had to" blog about it. I'm sure there are a few of you out there who has read Samuel Armas' story... but for those who haven't:

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably will never see it. The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by a surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on little Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed, hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. In a Time Europe article highlighting new pregnancy imagery that show the formation of major organs and other significant evidence of the formation of human life but a few days after conception, Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile. The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope."

The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."

Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us a pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 per cent successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome ... incredible.

Samuel ten(10) years later:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,519181,00.html

I always remember my mum telling me that while she was pregnant with me that she had this "feeling" something wasn't quite right. LADIES LISTEN TO YOUR BODIES!!!.. if you to feel something is "off" then see your Doc and demand tests. If my Doc had just listens to my mother then I to "could possible" have had this op and maybe had the chance to live a "normal life" and walk. But instead he decided to go on holidays *rolls eyes*.

Please feel free to leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on Sam's Story <3.

Memoirs #2

Hello Everyone.

MY TEENAGE YEARS: (13-16)
(need to edit with things that happen between ages 13-15)


In Jan 2003, just before my 16th birthday. I went into the hospital here in Tassie to have surgery on my bowel. But unfortunately the operation had to be reversed due to me almost dying from Peritonitis... [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peritonitis]

That was one of the worst experiences of my life! I remember as a teenager a doctor told me I would never be able to live indipendantly or even have children. At that time I didn't even really care because I'd never had a boyfriend. As I grew up and my friends started dating I used to lay in bed and imagine if my life was different (not born with SB) would I be dating?, would I be able to move out of home? get married? travel the world? settle down and have a family of my own?.

Ahh it's incredible what the mind can dream up huh.

(read on to Memoirs #3 to find out what happens next in my life....)

The antics of a 2.5yr old...

"what's wrong (insert name)"
"look at me I'm doing (insert activity)"
"no thank you"
"oh no this toy/person has gone"
"what on earth was that?"
"1-2-3-4-5, ready or not, I fineded you"

"what you doing?"
"come on (insert name) let's go outside"
"ry-nos-rus" -rinosarus
"hip-potn-ormous" - hippopotamus
"what you drawing there (insert name)?"
[on phone]"hello, speaking Hailee, yes, thank you, ok, bye-bye"

"don't be silly"
[making noises]" oh I scared/scary"
"shh mum be quiet I'm reading"
"wake up- I love u"
"ring Grandpa?!"  - ends up calling some random Lol
"that's great drawing mum"

"no way"
"king of castle, I a rascal"
"oops daisy fall down"
"humpety dumpety" - humpdy dumpdy
"next one"
"good girl Hay-yee"

Me:what's your name? "Hay-yee Nole Rik-tah"
"what yeah gunna do?"
"I'm/we're back"
"what's that sound?"
"Love my boyfiend Cody"

My cheeky lil' Monkey...


Ha! I know I've been so slack on this writing thing but I'm sure those of you who have a toddler realize just how busy they keep you and how much "me time" you DON'T get. Well we are now coming up to her 3rd birthday :( and I promise this time I will upload pics from her last birthday and this one :P

Hailee's Birth Story!

Hello Everyone.

It was Saturday 1st November and my mum came around to see how I was feeling, I was 28 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy. My whole pregnancy I was sick and diagnosed with Hyperemisis Gravadarum (HG) and that day was no different!. But as I was feeling a little better during so I decided I was going to finally pack my hospital bag. Though I was scheduled to have a c-section (for medical reasons) at 35 weeks.

I had no idea what was in store for me in the next 24 hours!!. The next morning Steve (my hubby) and I were about to head to a family BBQ. Unfortunately when I got up I found that we were going to have to spot at the hospital.

At the hospital Pregnancy clinic they checked me and said that the babies head was crowning and there was no was I could have a c-section now, I had to have her naturally. Because I was still early in my pregnancy they had to get a few nurses from NICU in there asap, the NICU professor even came in.

After 20 minutes of pushing, nothing was happening so they decided they would have to find another way to help her out. 3 hours after first coming into the hospital Hailee was born! Steve rang my mum and told her, it was lucky mum was still at the family BBQ so everyone found out at once.

I didn't get to meet my little girl until a few hours later. But she was the most gorgeous, precious Little thing in the whole world!. I feel in love straight away.

Hailee 15minutes old.


Hailee Nicole R.
2nd November
1.2 kg (2.2 pound)
Sunday 3.02pm